December…

… part 2 brought pie 12! Insert Beyonce singing “can’t believe we made it” here (if you do not get this reference, please listen to the Carters right now). I decided to end with a bang, which of course involves a marvel by Christina Tosi: cinnamon bun pie.

Begin with the “mother dough”. It’s basically a version of sour dough starter, but doesn’t have the sour:

• 3 1/2 cups flour
• 1 tbsp kosher salt
• 1 1/8 tsp active dry yeast
• 1 3/4 cups room-temp water
• Neutral oil

Combine the dry ingredients by hand in a stand mixer bowl. Continue to stir by hand and add the water. Mix for about one minute, until the mixture is shaggy.

Use the dough hook to mix on the mixer’s lowest speed for 3 minutes until smoother and cohesive. Continue to knead with the hook on lowest speed for 4 minutes. You should have a wet-looking ball that bounces back gently when poked. Brush a bowl with oil (I used vegetable) and add the dough. Cover with plastic and let rise 45 minutes at room temp.

You’ll also need liquid cheesecake:

• 8 oz cream cheese
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 tbsp cornstarch
• 1/2 tsp kosher salt
• 2 tbsp milk
• 1 egg

Heat the oven to 300°. Put the cream cheese in the mixer and use the paddle attachment to mix on low for about 2 minutes. Scrape down and add the sugar. Mix for a few more minutes until completely incorporated and scrape again.

Whisk together the cornstarch and salt. Whisk in the milk slowly and steadily, then whisk in the egg until nice and homogenous. Wouldn’t be a Tosi product without an emulsion or slurry, right?

Put the mixer on medium-low and stream in the egg mixture. Mix for 3-4 minutes, until smooth and loose. Scrape. Line a 6×6 baking pan with plastic wrap (I know, I thought it was nuts, but it works and yes, you can bake plastic wrap at low heat). Add the cheesecake mixture and bake for 15 minutes. Gently shake-it should be slightly firm at the sides, but still quite jiggly in the very center. If everyone is jiggly, 5 more minutes in the oven. If things start to really puff or brown, get it out, stat! Cool completely in order to let the cheesecake set. It should still spread easily when we use it in a few minutes, though.

And you need brown butter:

Put 1/4 cup (80 grams) unsalted butter in a microwave-safe bowl, cover with a safe saucer or plate, and microwave 3-5 minutes. Do not panic. This is going to go splat, crackle, pop and get nice and brown. Browner=more flavor. Don’t cheat yourself and pull it before it’s pretty dark. Let cool completely.

Oh, and cinnamon streusel:

• 1/4 cup flour
• 1/4 cup old-fashioned rolled oats
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp kosher salt
• 2 tbsp light brown sugar
• 2 tbsp melted butter, unsalted
• 1/8 tsp vanilla

Combine the dry ingredients, then pour in the melted butter and vanilla and toss until almond-sized clusters appear.

And a few other miscellaneous ingredients:

• 1/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
• 1/4 tsp kosher salt
• 1 tsp groun cinnamon

Well now, that’s enough for starters, right? Let’s set the oven to 350° now. Punch down and flatten the dough you made. Spread a bit of flour on the counter and use a rolling pin to flatten the dough (you can also stretch it out using your hands, like you are making pizza dough). Your end product should be a circle that’s about 11 inches around and 1/4 inch thick. Place the dough in a 10 inch pie pan and use your fingers and palms to press into place. Put the tin on a sheet pan.

Using a spoon, spread half the brown butter over the dough. Use another spoon to spread half the liquid cheesecake in an even layer over the butter. Top with the remaining browned butter. Scatter brown sugar over the brown butter. Press down with the back of your hand to keep it in place. Sprinkle with the salt and cinnamon. Spread the last portion of liquid cheesecake as evenly as possible on top. Nice and gentle, so as not to combine spices with the cheesecake on top. Spread the streusel evenly on the cheesecake. Tamp down with the back of your hand.

Bake for 40 minutes. Your crust should puff and brown, the cheesecake will set, and the topping will become crunchy. After the 40 minutes, give the pan a shake. You should still see some slight jiggles in the center, but the edges should be set. You can keep baking in 5 minute intervals until these results are achieved. If the pie bubbles over the top, bully for you-extra snacks! Cool slightly, but serve warm.

The pie keeps well-throw it in the microwave for a few seconds if you don’t eat it all in the first dishing. This was definitely one of my favorites this year-you can eat it for breakfast, lunch, or dinner! And what a year it was. A pandemic, lockdown, grocery shortages, total lifestyle changes… And yet, still (I’m guessing, should have actually counted) hundreds of cupcakes trialed and perfected, 12 pies, 2 lifelong friends marrying great partners, and multiple sourdough loaves and pancakes that Schatzi perfected. We had much to celebrate. Yet, cheers to this new year and the prospect of hope. Better days are already here and plenty more are yet to come, friends. This year’s baking adventures have already begun, but I’m not setting a number or making a specific list. I’ve already done croissants, vegan pizza dough, pita chips, and a reduced sugar version of monkey bread (hello, sucanat) that were all great successes. Who knows when the next post will be; Valley Voice is thriving (send me a message to set up a voice lesson or consult!), and I finally landed a dream job in in-patient rehab, so free time… Is not a part of my life at the moment. But! As I always tell my patients and clients, I’ll see you when I see you!

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December…

… Part 1. I was SO close to the goal of twelve pies that I managed to eek out the final two for the holidays. The first was Justin Warner’s lemon-apple hand pies. They are adorable and tasty.

For filling these eat-on-the-go pastries, you need:

• Juice of 2 lemons (eh, 2 tbsp)
• 4 golden delicious or Gala apples
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1 tbsp unsalted butter

Crust:

• 2 3/4 cup AP flour
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 8 tbsp cold, unsalted butter (cut into 1/4 inch cubes and frozen)
• 4 oz vegetable shortening (1/2 cup) + 1 tbsp (cut into 1/4 inch cubes and frozen)
• 1/2 cup ice-cold water
• 1 egg

Make the filling first, as it needs to chill. Peel and slice the apples to about 1/4 inch thick (anyone else see a theme?) and toss with the lemon juice. Add the sugar, salt, and cinnamon, and toss again to combine.

Melt the butter in a large saucepan over medium-low, then add your mixture and cook until the apples are soft and the mixture is thickened/darkened, about 20 minutes. Add half the apples and all the cooking liquid to a food processor and pulse until you have something similar to applesauce. Move this mixture back to the pan and combine with the remaining apples. Spread out on a rimmed baking dish and cool completely in the fridge.

Meanwhile, clean your food processor and pulse the flour and salt in it to combine. Scatter the frozen butter and shortening over the bowl and pulse 5-6 times. Things will be hardly combined; don’t worry, you’re just introducing everyone at this point. Keep pulsing the processor and, if you have it, use the emulsion tube to slowly add the ice water 2 tbsp at a time (otherwise, just add slowly by the tbsp). After each addition, check to see if the dough holds together when pinched and stop adding water when it does. It’s fine to not use all the water; flours and weather change! Press the dough into a ball, then tightly wrap in plastic wrap and chill at least 30 minutes.

Heat the oven to 425°. Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment or Silpat. Now here’s a new way to roll out dough: lightly moisten your counter, then lay 2 long sheets of plastic wrap down and overlap them by an inch. Cut the dough in half; rewrap one portion and put it back in the fridge. Put the other half on the plastic wrap, cover with plastic, and press flat with your palm. Then, roll into a rectangle about 7×18 inches.

Take off the top sheet of plastic and add 1/4 cup filling about 2 inches from the short side of the dough closest to you. Shape the filling into a rectangle, too. Lift the closest edge of the plastic wrap and pull up and away from you to fold over the filling. Leave an inch of overhang to make sure the filling is covered. Cut and seal the seams on the 3 open sides of dough using a pastry wheel (a fork or sharp knife also work, but don’t cut yourself!). Save the extra dough. Repeat 2 more times to make 3 hand pies. Then roll out the other half of dough and make 3 more. Put all the pies on the sheet pan you put together earlier.

Beat the egg and brush the pies with it. Coat the entire top, all the way to the edge, for a nice golden bake. Cut 3 slits in the top of each pie. Bake until golden brown and the filling is barely set, about 25 minutes. Cool until just warm enough to touch. Oh, and remember that extra dough? Toss it with cinnamon and sugar, bake with the pies, and you get an extra little treat!

Now this is the apple pie I was looking for. Adorable, portable, delicious. Do enjoy!

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September…

… Actually did have a pie of its own! Not sure how it escaped me to post, but a lovely Homestyle Berry Pie from the folks at Bake from Scratch was definitely a thing that happened in this kitchen. Oh wait, that was also the month of wedding cake and 100+ cupcakes… That must have been why I forgot! Anyway. We are approaching Spring and a different kind of berry season, so put this one in your pocket for late summer. You need:

Thanksgiving…

… just meant that I “had” to make 2 pies this month. Ain’t even mad; got me a step closer to the original goal of 12. It was just Schatzi and me this year, for obvious reasons. So, we took total advantage of the situation and did Thanksgiving our way. Dessert was a mashup recipe from Bon Appetit that combines the best of pie world: pecan and pumpkin pie.

For the crust of pecan-rye pumpkin pie, you need:

• 1/4 cup rye flour (can sub AP if needed)
• 1 tbsp granulated sugar
• 3/4 tsp kosher salt
• 1 1/2 cups AP flour, and more for the counter
• 3/4 cup CHILLED unsalted butter (cut into pieces and throw it in the freezer for 5 minutes)
• 1 egg white, lightly beaten (keep the yolk for the filling)

Whisk the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Add the butter and toss until the pieces are coated. Use your fingers to rub the butter into the flour until you have large rough pieces. Work quickly and don’t be afraid to be aggressive-we want everything to stay as cold as possible. You should have a mixture of large, chunky pieces and some that are smaller and flat. Scatter 5 tbsp ice water over the mixture and use your fingers to distribute. Knead the dough until it begins coming together. It will look a bit dry, and you can add more ice water by teaspoon until the dough begins to hold together. Turn it out and knead a couple more times. Press the dough to blend in any shaggy edges and loose parts. Dust lightly with flour and form into a 5×7″ rectangle. Gently tap with a rolling pin to compress and straighten edges. Roll it out until your dough is 3 times longer than the original (add flour as needed to keep from sticking). Fold dough over itself in thirds (like a letter) to form a square (or rectangle, as I did…). Wrap in plastic and chill for 30 minutes.

Heat the oven to 400°. Lightly flour the counter and roll the dough out to a 12″ round. Use the rolling pin to transfer the dough to a 9″ pie dish and press into the bottom and up the sides. Remember. If it breaks, it breaks. You can patch it and no one will be the wiser! Trim the excess dough and crimp as you’d like. Crinkle a piece of parchment, then straighten it and place it over the crust. Fill with pie weights or dried beans and bake until the edges start to brown, 20 minutes. Remove parchment/weights, knock the temperature down to 350°, and bake until golden, 20-25 more minutes. Remove from the oven and brush the bottom with egg white (this helps it seal and leads to a land of no soggy bottoms). Bake for another 5-10 minutes, until you reach a nice golden brown. Reserve any leftover egg white.

For the filling, you need:

• 3 eggs
• 1 egg yolk
• 15 oz can of pumpkin
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 1/4 cup granulated sugar
• 2 tbsp rye whiskey
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1 tsp ground ginger
• 1/4 tsp freshly grated nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp ground cardamom
• Small pinch of ground cloves
• 8 tbsp light brown sugar
• 3 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
• 1 1/4 tsp Diamond Crystal kosher salt
• 1 1/2 cups whole pecans
• 1 tbsp maple syrup (The real thing. No faking)

Combine the eggs, pumpkin, cream, sugar, spices, 6 tbsp brown sugar, 2 tbsp butter, and 1/4 tsp salt. Blend with an immersion blender or regular blender until smooth. Don’t over-mix and pump air into it. Pour into the crust and bake until puffed and almost set, 40-45 minutes. You should still have a slight jiggle in the center when lightly shaken. Just before this step is done, toast the pecans until fragrant and a bit darkened (8 minutes). Whisk the rest of the egg white, 2 tbsp brown sugar, and 3/4 tsp salt until foamy. Add syrup and 1 tbsp butter, then whisk just until they are mixed. Toss the pecans to coat. Take the pie out of the oven, and top with the pecans (let excess egg mixture drip off before topping). Finish baking until the filling is set (tester will come out clean) and nuts are no longer tacky to the touch, about 8 minutes. Let cool on a rack for at least 2 hours.

Seriously, the best of both worlds. The pecans are a great contrast to the usual pumpkin custard that usually gets boring about 2 bites in. Give it a whirl. And maybe scatter the pecans a little more… artistically than I did…

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November…

… Means some TIME OFF!!! Translation: time to make up for pies not made. This time, I went with the classic Bakewell Tart that we have seen so many times as a challenge on Great British Bakeoff. People. Please do not make the apple pie I made last month. Make this instead. It is a guarantee (if you do like apple pie, make both).

For the version of a Bakewell Tart I made from Bake from Scratch, you need to make multiple components: pate sablee, a filling, and a glaze. For the pate sablee, you need:

• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 1/3 cup confectioners’ sugar
• 1tbsp lemon zest
• 1/2 tsp kosher salt
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 1/2 cups pastry flour

So, a pate sablee is simply a butter crust that is incredibly tender. Pat sab is the common abbreviation. Again, I’m going to emphasize that it is very tender. Do not worry if it crumbles and seems to fall apart. I had to mend mine when transferring to the pie plate, and it turned out deliciously.

Start by creaming the butter until smooth, about a minute. Add the sugar, zest, and salt, and beat until it is smooth again, another minute. Add your egg yolk and let it go until well mixed. Add the flour in two portions, but just beat until it is combined (you can finish it by hand). Turn out this very crumbly dough onto a lightly floured surface and knead a couple times to bring it together. Form into a disk, wrap in plastic, and put in the fridge for an hour.

Heat the oven to 325°. Lightly flour the counter again and roll the pat sab to an 11 inch circle and about a quarter of an inch thick. Make sure to rotate the dough as you roll. Transfer to a 9″ tart pan, and press to the bottom and up the sides. Again. Mine broke and needed mending. If you can do this all in one piece, maybe apply to be on Great British Bakeoff? Anyway, trim the sides of excess dough and freeze until the crust is hard, about 10 minutes. Then, prick the bottom with a fork.

Add a layer of parchment that extends over the sides and top with pie weights or dried beans. Bake into the edges appear dry, 15 minutes. Get rid of the paper and weights, and continue baking until fully dry, about 10 more minutes. Let the crust cool completely on a rack.

Let’s make the rest of this thing. You need:

• 1/2 cup plum preserves (I used local blueberry preserves. Perfection.)
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 tbsp almond liqueur
• 1 1/4 cups almond flour
• 2 tbsp all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup sliced almonds

PSA: please do not use almond extract in place of almond liqueur. I had literally never tried amaretto until this recipe, and my goodness, nothing could compare. Please, if it is safe for you to do so, use liqueur. Your taste buds thank you.

Heat the oven to 350° now. Spread preserves of your choice onto the cooled pat sab. Refrigerate while you make the filling.

Beat the butter and sugar together using a paddle attachment until creamy, 3-4 minutes. Scrape the bowl halfway through. Add the eggs, one by one, and beat well after each addition. Mix in the almond liqueur. Meanwhile, combine the flours, then gradually add to the butter mixture on a low speed, just beating to combine. Spread onto the preserves, and top with almonds.

Bake until golden and set, about 45 minutes. Let cool in the pan for 15 minutes, then remove and top with a delicious glaze. Oh wait, combine 1/2 cup powdered sugar and 4 tbsp almond liqueur to make the glaze. Now, drizzle that on top and DEVOUR.

Make. And eat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. It’s an absolute triumph!

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October…

… Meant finally getting back to the land of pies! I’m told the wedding cupcake project was a success, though I hated to miss it. Oh 2020. Who would have thought?!

Anywho. Fall has finally started to show itself around here, so the apple pie option on my list seemed appropriate. That said, Schatzi and I were discussing such a pie, and found ourselves in agreement that apple pie is just not something we crave or are going to order if it’s available. Yes, we are those people. But when researching my recipe list for the year, I came across one for a cheddar apple pie from Cook’s Country, and I figured “go big or go home.” I’ve never had the classic apple pie with cheddar cheese melted somewhere, and figured if anyone could do this right, it would be Chris Kimball and his team. Read on to see if I was right.

For the crust, you need:

• 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1T sugar
• 1t salt
• 1t dry mustard
• 1/8t cayenne pepper
• 8 oz sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
• 8T butter, cut into 1/4″ pieces and frozen for 15 minutes
• 1/3 cup ice water

I know. This looks like Thanksgiving, but trust me young padowan, it’s fine. Your pie will not taste like mustard or dressing. Pulse the dry ingredients in a food processor just to combine. Scatter in the cheddar cheese and butter (really, don’t skip on freezing it), and pulse in your machine until pea-sized pieces form.

Pour in half of the ice water and pulse until it is incorporated. Give the dough a pinch, and if it doesn’t hold together, add another 1-2T of water until it is not dry and holds together easily. You should have large clumps of dough. Divide the dough in half and press into 4″ disks. Wrap tightly in plastic and pop into the fridge for at least an hour. Now here’s the crucial part that genius here forgot: let the dough rest outside of the fridge for 10 minutes before rolling out. It’s possible, but requires so much more effort. Save yourself the trouble.

For the filling, you need:

• 2 lb Granny Smith apples
• 2 lb golden delicious apples
• 1/4 cup light brown sugar
• 1/2 t lemon zest and 1T juice
• 1/4t salt
• 1/8t cinnamon

Combine the apples, sugars, lemon zest, and spices in a Dutch oven/large pot. Cover and cook over medium heat for about 12 minutes until the apples are tender but still hold their shape. Stir often. Take off the heat, add the lemon juice, and spread on a baking sheet to cool completely for 30 minutes.

Roll one disk of dough to a 12″ circle between 2 pieces of parchment paper (seriously, I could have made this so much easier on myself). Also, rolling crust between pieces of parchment is brilliant. Unroll over a pie pan and press the dough into the plate evenly. Trim any overhang to 1/2″. Cover in plastic and place in the fridge until firm, 15 minutes.

Put your oven rack in its lowest position and heat to 425°. Fill the chilled shell with the cooled apples. Roll the remaining “thawed” disk of dough to 12″ and place on top of the pie. Again, trim overhang to 1/2″ and pinch the edges of the crust together. Tuck the crust under itself so it is flush with the plate and crimp the edges to further seal. Cut 4 2″ slits in the top. Place on a lined baking sheet and bake for 20 minutes. Lower the heat to 375° and continue baking until golden and bubbling, 35-45 minutes. Cool on a rack at least 1 1/2 hours.

Slice it up, and enjoy! No ice cream needed. Really.

All in all, a good pie. At the end of the day, Schatzi and I admitted we just still never crave apple pie. But, this is a nice one. No, you aren’t hit with a savory bite of cheddar and mustard. It’s just a well-rounded pie. If apple is your jam, get to it. You won’t be disappointed.

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June…

… Feels like another lifetime ago. And I’ll leave it at that. I’ve been on pie hiatus, as our family grew (we are definitely now those people with three cats) and a dear friend from high school actually asked me to make cupcakes for her upcoming wedding. Being the sap I am, I agreed…and have since baked/ingested who knows how many cupcakes since she asked.

However, before the flour hit the fan, I actually did make an exceptional coconut cream pie from America’s Test Kitchen for the June pie of the month. It is SUPER easy and all kinds of delicious, particularly for summer. So, you need:

A graham cracker crust (no, don’t buy it):

• 8 graham crackers, broken into 1 inch pieces
• 5 tbsp unsalted butter (melted, cooled)
• 3 tbsp sugar

Make sure you have an oven rack in the middle of the oven and crank it to 325°. Pulse the crackers to fine crumbs in a food processor, then sprinkle the butter and sugar over and pulse to combine.

Spread in a 9 inch pie pan and use a flat measuring cup to press crumbs into a smooth layer on the bottom and sides of plate. Bake until just starting to brown, 13 minutes. Let cool completely.

For the filling:

• 14 oz can of coconut milk (full fat, please)
• 1 cup whole milk
• 1/2 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 5 egg yolks
• 1/4 cup cornstarch
• 2 tbsp unsalted butter, cut into 2 pieces
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla

Bring coconut milk, whole milk, coconut, 1/3 cup sugar, and salt to a simmer over medium-high, stirring every so often. As it starts to bubble, whisk together the other 1/3 cup sugar, egg yolks, and cornstarch. Slowly whisk 1 cup of the simmering milk into this new mixture (remember the meaning of tempering?), then slowly mix the tempered yolks into the rest of the simmering milk. Turn the heat down to medium and whisk “vigorously”until thickened and bubbles start to roll on the top (this goes quickly, about 30 seconds).

Take the custard off the heat and whisk in the butter and vanilla. Cool for about 5 minutes, until the filling is just slightly warm. Stir often to help the process and prevent that weird skin from developing on top. Pour into the cooled crust, lay a sheet of plastic wrap on top (lightly press to the top to prevent said skin again) and pop it into the fridge until totally set and well chilled, about 4 hours.

Meanwhile, you may as well make some whipped cream for the topping. Whip 1 1/2 cups cold heavy cream, 1 1/2 tbsp sugar, 1 1/2 tsp dark rum (you don’t have to, but do try it…), and 1/2 tsp vanilla on medium-high until frothy. Bump it up to high and go until you have soft peaks. Spread as you desire over the chilled pie and sprinkle with a tablespoon of shredded (unsweetened and toasted) coconut.

I went the majority of my life thinking coconut was terrible. I don’t remember the recipe that enlightened me, but I’m grateful for it. This pie is a real treat, the definition of comfort food. Super easy, hits the spot. Not overwhelming with weird coconut, just rich and delicious. Put it on your list, and try not to eat it in one sitting.

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May…

… Brought one of the most interesting pies on the list this year. Green tomato mincemeat pie is from Moosewood, and is really worth your time. That said, it doesn’t take much time to put this one together. I love that in the instructions, you’re told that it’s going to be uneven, “giving the pie an unpretentious, down-home look.” As you will see, I absolutely nailed that part.

For this unpretentious pie, you need to make a pie crust first:

• 1 1/2 cups flour
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1/2 cup cold butter
• 3-4 tbsp ice water
• Zest of one orange

Personally, I like to make crusts by hand. You can do this in a mixer if you prefer. Combine the flour, salt, orange peel, and sugar in a large bowl. Work in chunks of butter with your fingers until you have a mixture roughly like corn meal. Sprinkle the ice water over and push into the dough from the sides to the middle to make a ball that holds its shape. Move the ball to your counter and cut it in half. Place one half on top of the other and press down. Repeat this process 3-4 times until the water is fully incorporated (can’t you just hear Mary Berry saying “the laaaaairs, the layers”). Put in the fridge while you get everything else together.

• For the rest of the pie, you need:
• 1 cup water
• 1tsp salt
• 2 1/2 cups chopped green tomatoes (about 3)
• 2 1/2 cups peeled and chopped green apples (about 3)
• 2 tbsp lemon juice
• 1 cup coarsely chopped toasted pecans
• 1 cup raisins
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp ground cloves
• 1/2 tsp ground ginger
• Freshly grated peel of one lemon
• 1 tbsp molasses
• 1/4 cup flour

Do not panic! Yes, it’s a lot of cloves. But somehow it works. Try it, you’ll like it. Heat the oven to 375°. Bring the water and salt to a full boil and add the tomatoes. Blanch for 3 minutes; the water should come back to a boil. Drain and put them in a big bowl. Add the apples, lemon juice, pecans, raisins, sugar, spices, and lemon peel. Drizzle the molasses over everything and mix to combine. Sprinkle the flour over everything and toss lightly so everything has a dusting of flour. You should get about 6 cups of filling-it’s a lot!

Roll out the gorgeous pie dough to about 3 inches wider than your pie pan; drape the dough over your rolling pin and transfer it to the pan. Pour in the filling and gently fold your extra dough over said filling. This is where it gets rustic, people-you’ll have some filling peeking out, and it’s just not the prettiest thing you’ll make this year. Bake on a baking sheet for 45-55 minutes, until bubbly and golden. Let rest for an hour before chowing down.

Unpretentious both in and out of the pan! But, it is a darn good pie. No. It does not taste one bit like a tomato. If you like apple pie, you will love this. If you’re just too afraid to do it, feel free to add less tomato and substitute more apple. However, I recommend going all in. Why not?

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April…

….brings our long awaited staycation! I don’t care that I sound like a nerd, but guys-we have been waiting for this all.year.long. And a productive staycation we are having! I chose what *I think* will be one of my most challenging pies for the year for April, and conveniently saved it for the week where I have nothing to do but bake. Solid choice, self. As the author of this recipe tells you straight out of the gate, this pie is a marathon. And add some other choice words, if you’d like. However, every single component of Christina Tosi’s candy bar pie from her Milk Bar cookbook is perfect and well worth your time. Speaking of, please make yourself a to-do list before doing this. I’ll walk you through the “schedule” I used, but if you go by the cookbook, you will be navigating at least 6 recipes scattered throughout the book. A roadmap is always helpful.

Let’s start with the chocolate crumb:

• 2/3 cup flour
• 1 tsp cornstarch
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 2/3 cup cocoa powder
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 6 tbsp butter, melted

Heat your oven to 300°. Mix the dry ingredients using the paddle attachment of a stand mixer just until combined. Stick with a low speed so you don’t make a mess. Add the butter, still on low, until small crumbs form. Spread these out on a pan lined with Silpat and bake for 20 minutes. Break the crumbles up every once in awhile; it’s done when the mixture is slightly moist. Toss the crumbles into the freezer to cool completely.

Once cooled, blast the crumbles in the food processor until they are similar to sand without any clusters left. Use your hands to mix in the sugar and salt, then the butter. Knead the mixture until it forms a ball, and add a tablespoon more melted butter if needed. Press the crust into a ten inch pie tin-you should have an even bottom and sides. The bottom of a measuring cup can be helpful to achieve this. Pop the crust into the fridge and move on.

While the crust is chillin’, make some teeth-cracking brittle. You need:

• 1 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup peanuts

No really, that’s it! Line a sheet pan with Silpat. Sadly, parchment will not do the job here. Make a dry caramel by heating the sugar in a heavy saucepan over medium-high. When it starts to melt, stir with a spatula to keep things moving and melting evenly. Cook/stir until it is dark amber. Immediately pull it from the heat and stir in the nuts with the spatula. We are now moving at the speed of light to evenly coat the nuts and pour everything as thinly as possible onto the prepared pan before things get hard as a rock. Let it cool completely, then grind it well in the food processor so no one actually breaks a dental process when enjoying the delicious stuff.

Ok! Time for a wet caramel! You need:

• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 2 tbsp butter
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1 tsp kosher salt
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1/4 cup glucose (Amazon or your specialty baking store have it)
• 1/2 tsp powdered gelatin
• 1/2 cup heavy cream (yes, another 1/2 cup)

Combine the first 1/2 cup cream, butter, vanilla, and salt in a bowl.

Make some caramel again! Heat the sugar and glucose in a heavy saucepan over medium-high. When the sugar starts to melt, use your spatula to move it around constantly and cook evenly until deep amber. While you’re at it, bloom the gelatin by sprinkling the powder very evenly over 2 tbsp cold water. Let soften for 3-5 minutes.

When your caramel is a lovely amber color, get it off the heat. Slowly add the remaining 1/2 cup heavy cream (slowly slowly! Don’t burn yourself!)-it will bubble up quickly. When the steam clears, whisk the mixture until smooth. If it’s lumpy at all, put it back on the heat and whisk until smooth. When your mixture is smooth as silk, whisk in the gelatin until dissolved. Then, pour everything through a fine strainer into the mixture you made earlier with the butter. Let everything sit, untouched, for 2 minutes. Then, whisk slowly to avoid splashes until everything is smooth and homogenous. Pour into the crust you made and let it set for at least 4 hours; you can also leave it overnight.

Now for the most challenging part, which I admittedly did not nail: nougat. You need:

• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1 1/2 tbsp water
• 3 tbsp sugar
• 1 1/2 tbsp water
• 1 egg white
• 1/4 cup peanut butter
• 1/2 recipe for peanut brittle
• 1/2 tsp kosher salt

Yes, 2 different measures of the same ingredients again. Combine the first measures of sugar and water in a little pan until they look like wet sand. Use another small pan to do the same with the second measures.

Put both pans on the stove to heat. The first measure should be over medium and cook to 239F°; the second goes over low in the meantime. Also! Start whipping the egg white with the whisk attachment until you get soft peaks. In ideal land, you get soft peaks when the sugar reaches 239F°. Try to adjust mixer speed and heat accordingly. If this doesn’t work perfectly for you, rest assured that what happens is your nougat just doesn’t set. It tastes amazing, but oozes even when frozen. Also. Make sure you measure in the correct conversion; I only went to 115°F… When it was supposed to be 115°C. These things do add up…

Anyway. Once you reach 239F°, carefully pour the sugar into the egg whites on low speed (pour down the side of the bowl to avoid burning and flinging). When everything is added, bump back to to medium-high and get your second sugar mixture to 248°F. Add it to the whipping egg white, just like you already did, and beat until the white is cooled to room temperature.

Mix the peanut butter, brittle, and salt. Try not to eat it yet.

When the egg white mixture is room temp, fold it into the peanut butter mixture. Hopefully it’s been 4 hours and your caramel crust is set. Grab that pup from the fridge and spread the glorious nougat over the caramel in a smooth, even layer. Back to the fridge for an hour.

We are so close! The easiest part is a chocolate glaze made in your microwave.

• 1 1/2 oz 55% chocolate
• 1 1/2 oz white chocolate
• 2 tbsp neutral oil

Combine everything in a bowl you would safely put in your microwave and gently heat in 30 second intervals until melted and shiny. Do stir between each blast. Also toast 8 mini pretzels while you’re at it. Go with the recommended 300°; the broiler will fry them instantly!

We made it! Grab the pie from the fridge and paint a thin layer of chocolate all over the top. Spread the pretzels around so that each slice (8 total) gets one. I did this horribly. Paint the rest of the chocolate over the pretzels to seal. Back to the fridge for 15 minutes to firm up. Voila!

Best pie of the year, even if the nougat wasn’t set. Christina Tosi is a genius, and that’s really all I can say.

Just make it. This is a glorious recipe that will bring delight to anyone with common sense.

*sc

March…

… Feels like ages ago. I decided to go with one of the more adventurous pies on the list this year, a recipe from the genius David Lebovitz. As I say with any recipe of his, please do yourself a favor and get any of his books. This one comes from Ready for Dessert. You might turn up your nose at the idea, but don’t knock lime-marshmallow pie until you’ve made it. Bonus: making marshmallow and graham crackers is a lot of fun-why would you not make this stuff from scratch if you can?

For the graham cracker crust, you need:

• 1 1/4 cups whole wheat flour
• 3/4 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp ginger
• 1/8 tsp salt
• 5 tbsp butter (you know which type), cut into 1/2 inch pieces and chilled
• 3 tbsp melted butter
• 2 1/2 tbsp honey
• 2 tbsp sugar

For the filing:

• 1/2 cup lime juice (real stuff, no bottled here)
• 1/2 cup sugar
• Pinch of salt
• 3 eggs and 2 egg yolks
• 6 tbsp butter, cut into pieces
• Zest of two limes

For the marshmallow topping:

• 1 envelope plain gelatin
• 1/4 cup and 1/3 cup cold water
• 1/3 cup light corn syrup
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 3 egg whites
• 1 tsp vanilla

Heat the oven to 375 and line a baking sheet with parchment or Silpat. Graciously butter a 9×13.

Combine the wheat flour and crust spices on low in the stand mixer. Add 5 tbsp cold butter and mix on medium until the butter pieces are tiny, like grains of rice. Mix in the honey until you get a smooth mixture.

Put the dough on your prepared sheet and form a circle about 1/8 inch thick. Bake until golden and firm, about 15 minutes. Let cool completely.

Process your graham cracker to fine crumbs using the food processor or a rolling pin and plastic baggie combo. Reserve 1 1/2 cups of pulverized cracker and treat yourself to the rest.

Add two tbsp sugar and 3 tbsp melted butter to the crumbs and combine until everything is moist. Pat into bottom and halfway up the sides of a greased pie pan. Bake the crust just until set, 10 minutes. Cool completely.

Combine the lime juice, sugar, pinch of salt, all of mentioned eggs, 6 tbsp butter, and the lime zest in a saucepan (go with nonreactive, as we’re dealing with limes). Cook over medium heat until thickened, stirring the whole time. Don’t boil it-the edges should just barely bubble. Pour the mixture through a fine strainer into the crust, and bake until barely set (8 minutes). Take the pie out of the oven, put the rack in the upper third, and crank it to 450. Put the egg whites in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment.

Grab a small bowl and sprinkle the gelatin over 1/4 cup cold water. Let it soften for 5 minutes; this is never an attractive process. Attach a thermometer to a saucepan and heat 1/3 cup water, the corn syrup, and 1/2 cup sugar over medium-high until it reaches 210°. When it does, start whipping the egg whites. When they are frothy and the syrup reaches 245°, pump the speed to high and slowly pour in the sugar mixture (Keep it away from the beater! You will get burned! And your precious syrup will get flung on the edges of the bowl and won’t get incorporated.). Scoop the beautiful gelatin mixture into the warm saucepan you just emptied, and stir until the gelatin melts. Keep the mixer running and slowly add the melted gelatin. Add the vanilla and beat until the mixture is room temp, 5-10 more minutes. You just made marshmallows!Spread the marshmallow over the filing, peaking and swooping as you wish. Bake until golden, 2-4 minutes.

Do it. Make it. It’s a delicious take on a key lime pie. Need I say more?

• 

Also, please don’t add green food coloring. It’s just not necessary.

*sc